#transformationtuesday I understand that some of you may think I look better on the left. I completely understand that, but I would have to firmly disagree. Considering I weighed in at 98 lbs this morning, I felt it was time for a progress picture. The girl on the left would go on five mile runs and half hour elliptical sessions every day. The girl on the left would eat an apple, a cup of oatmeal, and buckets of coffee a day, thinking that that would be enough to sustain a healthy lifestyle. The girl on the left hid away in her bedroom looking up recipes on Pinterest that she knew she would never recreate. The girl on the left made her mom throw up from heartbreak when she stepped on the scale and showed her mom how low her weight had gotten. The girl on the left made her family miserable. The girl on the left threw a tantrum when her mom asked her to have a glass of milk. The girl on the left stuffed food into her socks when her parents were not looking. The girl on the left was dying. I never want to be the girl on the left again. Today, I am the girl on the right. The girl on the right laughs and smiles. The girl on the right goes out to the movies with her mom. The girl on the right participates in the dinner conversation. The girl on the right challenges herself everyday. The girl on the right gets to eat pints of ice cream. The girl on the right has a future. The girl on the right is going to fall in love and have kids one day. The girl on the right is who I choose to be. The girl on the right is who I choose to be every day for the rest of my life. I am not weight restored, but I think I look pretty damn good. I can HONESTLY say I like how my body looks in the second picture better than in the first. Just look at the facial difference. And am I fat? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I am getting healthy! I will never go back to the girl on the left.
I am in tearsStop scrolling and read this
This is so inspiring and perfect. YOU are perfect.
I just miss my friend a lot
Feeling this real bad right now
For those of you who are new here, Esther Earl was a nerdfighter who inspired much of The Fault in Our Stars and many projects in nerdfighteria, including Esther Day. Esther’s story, This Star Won’t Go Out, was published this year.
Esther’s family started a foundation in her honor, also called This Star Won’t Go Out, that provides direct financial support to families of children with cancer so that they can pay for gas and hotel stays and lost work and other costs associated with caring for sick children. The Earls are wonderful people who do great work, and you can donate to TSWGO here.
And you tried to change, didn’t you?
Closed your mouth more.
Tried to be softer, prettier, less volatile, less awake.
You can’t make homes out of human beings.
Someone should have already told you that.
And if he wants to leave, then let him leave.
You are terrifying, and strange, and beautiful.
Something not everyone knows how to love.